The Religion and Political Views of Pete Davidson

The argument that people in Staten Island don’t want to drink outside can be disproven by going to literally any little league game. One guy at the protest even gave a speech where he literally compared not being able to drink indoors to being Jewish during the Holocaust, which must have been awkward for the people there who had to suddenly pretend they believed in the Holocaust. […] What’s the worst thing about Staten Island? They’re making us look like babies. You know it’s bad when even people in Boston are like, ‘Ah, drink at home, you queers!’

I have, I have a lot of gay friends. I like my gay friends 'cause I don’t think there’s like a more honest relationship between, like, a gay dude and a straight dude, 'cause there’s just like nothing to gain, you know, so it’s just pure honesty. [0:00] Like, I’m all for the gayness, you know. It doesn’t mean I’m against gayness. It’s just like you just get to slap ass on a technicality? That’s not f*****g fair at all. Right in front of you. Walk up, slap the ass, giggle. You know? Just 'cause he could. I would never do that just 'cause I could, you know? I wouldn’t like walk up to his boyfriend and like tug his d**k and be like, “Nice, Gary! Not for me, but cool!”

I also have the most talented friends ever. And I think my friends are a good reflection of me... anybody that I f**k with is sweet and morally sound, you know? I find it super weird that it's weird that a straight dude has gay friends... like, some straight dudes do have gay friends, but like they make like a big show of it as opposed to them genuinely being a friend. [...] Yeah. I really feel like I have to be careful when I’m saying this, but I do feel like a lot of women in entertainment use gay men as props. […] If you really listen to any of the songs that they’re doing, or any of the things that they’re doing, it’s to promote themselves. It’s rarely for the LGBT community. It’s to make them look good. Like, how cool they are that they’re hanging out with gay people.

Pretend the environment is a girl you’re in love with who just got engaged to someone else. The situation is dire but there’s still time.

This guy is a monster, and he should go to jail forever. If you support the Catholic church, isn’t that the same thing as being an R. Kelly fan? I don’t really see the difference — only one’s music is significantly better.

My mom was Irish. My dad was Jewish. I mean I was raised Catholic and then like I just like did that blood test that ancestry stuff […] and I was like where’s this 48% Jew coming from and my mom’s like oh yeah your dad side.

Wanted to get @hillaryclinton a Christmas gift so I got a tattoo of my hero. Thanks for being such a badass and one of the strongest people in the universe. Tatt by @jonmesa.

Apparently this anti-discrimination law was voted down because some people claim it’s just an excuse to allow guys into women’s restrooms. The theory is that men, in their relentless quest to watch women go to the bathroom, are going through years of hormones, surgery, changing their name, their wardrobe, coming out to their family — all for that big payoff of peeing in a room without urinals. What is this fantasy that they think is going on in there? There’s no shirtless pillow fights. There’s no disco ball.